NEW YORK—This story begins with one of the fancy females in my family leaving a hair salon on Third Avenue in New York, when she rather impulsively decided to buy a lipstick-sized tube of undereye concealer. “Charge it,” she told the sales clerk, who was only too willing to oblige.

Not until she arrived home, and looked seriously at the bill for the first time, did the buyer discover that a mistake must have been made. The posted charge for the tiny cosmetic was an incredible $75. So you can imagine her chagrin when she phoned the salon and was told: “That’s no mistake.” The magical makeup did indeed cost $75.

All of which led us to consider how many prices in the marketplace these days are simply outrageous.

No, we’re not talking about luxury goods, where prices are nosebleed high by any measure, but where you commonly get goods that wear well, look nice and last almost forever. For example, you can lay out $3,000 for a made-to-measure men’s suit from Barney’s or $1,500 for a men’s Burberry raincoat that one of your grandkids may well be wearing Д and staying toasty in Д a couple of generations from now.

Nor are we talking about those $150 neckties from Hermes Paris or Stefano Ricci that make you look like a million dollars Д well, almost.

Long live the luxury market, where there’s a linkage between the prices you pay and the performance of the product over time. Indeed, the luxury market in retail is standing up very well during the current economic travail. People who patronize luxury stores are usually smart shoppers who tend to go out and spend come rain, come shine.

No, when we talk now about outrageous prices, we’re referring to those of goods and services that without rhyme, reason or straight-faced excuse are marked up to infinity: take, for example, the black alligator women’s handbag featured in a current Neiman Marcus ad for $26,500.

Some markup mavens are getting a bit embarrassed by such excess. They no longer cite the real retail prices of such goods in magazine layouts, but they say that you can get price quotes “on request.” And how do you spell chutzpah?

The only justification is that the ultimate buyer can boast that he or she is paying the highest prices of any kid on the block. My bill is bigger than your bill, as they say.

That’s not pocket change for most.

But there is no shortage of people who are prepared to pay those outrageous prices for certain trendy goods and services. The newsletter Pocket Change has identified a number of them in New York and Los Angeles.

In the highest end of the New York rental-car market, for instance, you can lease a Lamborghini Murcielago for a mere $2,250 a day at Gotham Dream Cars, which is a candy store for the James Bond set. If their Lamborghinis are all checked out for the weekend, the rental firm will sub a Bentley for $1,750 a day or a Rolls Royce Phantom for $325 an hour.

What if you desire to invest in New York’s Most Expensive Cocktail (MEC)? Surely a single drink can’t wear a big hole in your pocketbook. Well, think again. Pocket Change identifies the current MEC as the Duvet Platinum Passion. This mixture of ancient cognacs and Ruinart champagne is a creative take on the classic French 75. You can sip one in Manhattan at the Duvet Hotel, 45 West 21st Street, for a trifling $1,500.

If you want Los Angeles’ most expensive fake tan, you can get 80 minutes of it at the Thibiant Beverly Hills Day Spa for $140 Д which may not seem so outrageous if it leads to your being discovered and launching a Hollywood career.

There’s more. If you’re in a family way, you can get New York’s most expensive nanny. This is no mere high-end Euro babysitter, but a professional au pair who builds a career with you Д a well-trained, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious performer, for the bargain price of $144,000 a year. However, she might expect you to have little baubles like the $4,000 nine-karat gold accented Maclaren stroller and the $17,000 diamond-encrusted pacifier from It’s My Binky. (We did not ask if this nanny is also a Harvard M.B.A.)

But if you want to decimate your bankroll with the truly outrageous speed that only a hedge-fund manager can properly admire, you still can’t beat the real estate market. Consider renting a Nantucket cottage for $40,000 a week or a 6,000-square-foott East Hampton home for $300,000 for July and August. Slump or not, you’d better hurry to get your bids in for next summer. They offer a special bargain because both those months have 31 days.

But always be aware of the difference between the luxury market Д which bespeaks quality Д and the simply outrageous, even if it’s only the price of a tiny tube of undereye concealer.

Copyright (c) 2007 MarketWatch, Inc.

TECHNOLOGY

GigaMedia beats, lower outlook

The Taiwan-based maker of gaming software tripled its Q1 profit to 15 cents a share ex items, beating views by a penny. Revenue rose 95% to $36.1 mil. Despite a sharp rise of profit, GigaMedia () warned of sequentially lower revenue growth in the current quarter from its gaming software business. It said seasonal factors, a downturn in online gaming during the summer, and increased competition in its markets would negatively affect revenue. Shares fell 6.8% to 14.88.

Global Sources sees weak sales

The maker of marketing Web sites in China said its Q1 earnings rose 50% to 15 cents a share, 4 cents ahead of expectations. Global Sources () revenue increased 16% to $35 mil, just topping views. But the company forecasted Q2 revenue of $52 mil-$53 mil, below the $54.1 mil expected, and earnings of 13-15 cents, vs views of 14 cents. Shares tumbled 8.7% to 18.36.

Imation, () a maker of data storage products, said it lowered ‘07 EPS outlook to $1.41-$1.54, below views of $2.23. It said its earnings would be diluted by issuance of shares for buying some operations of Tokyo-based TDK. But it raised ‘07 revenue outlook to $2 bil, above views. Shares rose 2.2% to 38.91.

Cisco Systems, () the networking company, said it will buy BroadWare Technologies to expand its video surveillance equipment unit. The terms of the deal were not disclosed. Shares dipped 0.1% to 26.37.

IBM () expects to raise its head count in mainland China by at least 10% annually for the next few years. It currently has 10,000 workers under contract, said its China division head. It dipped 0.3% to 106.70.

Google () has invested $3.9 mil in 23andMe, a biotech that was co-founded by the wife of Google founder Sergey Brin. Google said the company allows consumers to learn about their genomic makeup.

RETAIL

BJ’s Wholesale meets Q1 views

The wholesale club said earnings were flat at 20 cents a share ex items, in line with expectations. BJ’s Wholesale Club said sales rose 8% to $2 bil, matching expectations. The company’s net income fell 11% but improved from the Q4 77% dive that resulted in its CEO’s dismissal. BJ’s was encouraged by signs from early turnaround steps. Shares rose 1.8% to 36.13.

Staples meets, lowers outlook

The office supply retailer raised Q1 profit 16% to 29 cents a share, matching views. Revenue rose 8% to $4.59 bil. Staples () said pressure to cut costs could slow already sluggish U.S. sales. Same-store sales fell 3%, while rival OfficeMax () recently reported a 0.5% increase. Staples expects Q2 earnings at the low end of its forecasts. It said it acquired American Identity, a distributor of corporate-branded machines, from Republic Financial. Shares slid 2.4% to 25.05.

CBRL misses, sees dip in diners

CBRL, () the operator of Cracker Barrel Old Country Store restaurants said Q3 earnings fell 21% to 44 cents a share ex items, a penny below forecasts. Its revenue increased 3% to $549.1 mil, missing guidance. Its same-store sales were flat, and a 1.4% higher check sales offset the 1.4% decline in guest traffic. Shares slipped 2.6% to 44.70.

The Children’s Place, () which sells clothing and owns 328 Disney stores, said Q1 net income was $14.7 mil ex items, above views. No EPS figures were released, due to an ongoing accounting probe. Revenue rose 12.3% to $478.9 mil, below views. Shares climbed 3.7% to 54.29.

American Eagle, () a trendy apparel retailer, said Q1 earnings rose 25% to 35 cents a share, in line with views. Sales rose 17% to $612 mil, below forecasts. It guided Q2 below views. Shares fell 4.3% to 28.06.

ENERGY

Tsakos Energy cruises past views

The operator of a fleet of oil tankers said it raised Q1 profit 4.1% to $2.28 a share, including a gain, beating views by 74 cents. Revenue rose 20% to $115.3 mil, above views. Tsakos Energy Navigation () said it sailed more vessels to overcome softer charter rates, which fell 4.5% vs. a year ago. Shares surged nearly 95 to 64.25.

Mideast now Halliburton’s focus

CEO Dave Lesar said the company is shifting its focus and investment away from North America toward the Middle East. Halliburton () said it would expand its Mideast operations as it targets $80 bil in new business over the next 5 years. The company is seeking Arab investors and a share listing on Dubai’s new exchange, Lesar said.

BP shuts down Alaskan oil line

The oil company will shut down 100,000 barrels, or 25%, of its Alaska oil production following the discovery of a water pipeline leak. BP said the leak is in a 12-inch pipe that collects water from separated oil and gas. The company denied allegations that cutbacks were to blame for the corroded pipes. Shares slid 1.8% to 68.18.

LABOR

Union leader Hoffa visits China

Teamsters President James Hoffa and other U.S. union leaders were in Shanghai, China, to discuss U.S. companies’ opposition to a proposed labor law in Beijing. The law would require employers to consult more with workers and make mass firings more difficult. U.S. companies that traditionally shun unions, like Wal-Mart, () have been forced to allow workers in China to join its communist-tied labor unions.

BEVERAGES

Bud rises as beer sales rebound

Anheuser-Busch () climbed nearly 3% to 51.07 after it said beer sales rebounded in May after a weak April, and projected that increasing demand for imported beers like Bass and Stella Artois and reduced discounting of domestic brands would boost ‘07 earnings. The St. Louis-based brewer also told an investor meeting that it was optimistic about this year’s summer selling season.

MEDIA

XM Satellite knocked off the air

The satellite radio experienced a second day of outages after software problems disrupted radio transmissions with one of its four satellites, the company said. XM, () which has agreed to be acquired by rival Sirius Satellite Radio, () has more than 8 mil subscribers who pay about $13 a month for sports, news, music and talk channels. XM and Sirius each edged up less than 0.4%.

CBS Corp. () said it will buy Wallstrip.com, a site that produces whimsical stock related videos, for an undisclosed amount. CBS dipped 2 cents to 32.82.

The chancellor of the exchequer, Alistair Darling, this evening promised that the government will guarantee all savings deposits at Northern Rock amid concern that Britain is plunging into its worst banking crisis in decades.

The move follows a dramatic last-minute collapse in the share price of Alliance & Leicester, which fell 32% in late trading this afternoon, and sparked fears of “contagion” from Northern Rock to other financial institutions.

Mr Darling said: “I can announce today that following the discussions with the Governor (of the Bank of England) and the Chairman of the FSA, should it be necessary, we, with the Bank of England would put in place arrangements that would guarantee all the existing deposits in Northern Rock during the current instability.”

He said he had taken the decision “in the current market circumstances and because of the importance I place on maintaining a stable banking system and public confidence in it.”

This evening queues were still stretching out of the door at branches of Northern Rock across the country, with more than 2bn already taken out by anxious savers. The value of Northern Rock shares fell sharply again today, down by 35%, but in late trading it was overtaken by a startling drop in the share price of Alliance & Leicester, Britain’s seventh largest bank.

Alliance & Leicester was adamant tonight that it has not sought assistance from the Bank of England and will not need to. It said it has a different business model to Northern Rock and that its savings balances more than equal its variable rate loan liabilities. A spokesman said he was “mystified” by the dramatic plunge in share price, most of which occurred just as the London Stock Exchange was closing.

The company said in a statement: “We know of no reason why our share price has fallen so sharply today. We stated on 4 September in a stock exchange announcement that ‘current conditions in the funding and liquidity markets have had no material impact on either profits or franchise growth’. That remains the case and if the situation were different we would have to update the market. We have not approached the Bank of England for assistance. We have a very different business model to Northern Rock, and our funding is not overly reliant on wholesale markets. Our customers need have no concerns caused by current market conditions.”

Northern Rock, in a formal statement issued after the Mr Darlling spoke, said that “The Chancellor’s statement makes it clear beyond any doubt that all savings in Northern Rock are safe and secure. Consequently anybody who is in a queue outside a branch, or who is trying to access an online account can be fully reassured that there is no cause for concern whatsoever.”

It also promised to refund any penalties that savers may have paid when they withdrew their funds from the bank - so long as they put the money back in by October 5. “Any customer who paid a penalty to withdraw their funds from Northern Rock, due to concern over the current situation, will have the penalty refunded if they reinvest those funds in the same type of account with Northern Rock by 5 October 2007,” it said.

But the prospects for a ‘white knight’ takeover of Northern Rock by another bank are receding. Northern Rock said: “There has been considerable speculation in the media over recent days regarding the possibility of a transaction with another party. Northern Rock is not in discussion with any other party at the present time, however the Board is aware of its fiduciary duty and is actively considering all strategic options in the interests of shareholders, customers and other stakeholders.”